The thing about neighbors is that we can’t really choose them. As they are always next to us for quite a lot of time, they kind of determine how peaceful or exhausting our life is going to be in the neighborhood. And while it’s not necessary to be friends with neighbors, having a good relationship and respect for each other really helps to have a peaceful life.
While there are many different kinds of neighbors, this story shared by one Reddit user is about those who don’t respect boundaries. The woman got tired of her new lake house friends and finally told them she feels like she’s being stalked, which caused quite a lot of tension between everyone.
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Not having peace at your lake house when you come there to chill is annoying, to say the least
Woman shares that she and her husband own a lake house and have become good friends with a few households, but one couple has become a bit problematic
She noted that the main issue with them is that they want to get together all the time and don’t understand when she and her husband say they are busy, constantly coming to their property
Now, recently their out-of-town friends have declined an invitation, saying they don’t like their visits being interrupted by neighbors, and that was the woman’s last straw
One day, after the problematic neighbors came over, the woman finally spoke up, saying that they were fine without their company, later adding that they even feel stalked
Recently, one Reddit user shared her story online seeking to hear community member’s opinions on whether she was indeed being a jerk. She finally asked her newer lake friends who don’t seem to understand boundaries to respect them because it feels like they are stalking her and her husband. The post caught a lot of attention, collecting over 8K upvotes.
The original poster (OP) starts her story by explaining that she and her husband have a lake home and over the years have become good friends with a few households on their corner of the lake. And while everyone is welcoming, one couple has been crossing boundaries for quite some time. OP shares that this couple has a seasonal cottage on a different part of the lake and are around on weekends.
She noted that the most annoying thing is that they want to get together all the time and don’t accept when others are busy. She emphasized that they get into their boat and anchor straight in front of others’ properties, which makes everyone uncomfortable. Well, the last straw for OP was when their out-of-town friends refused to visit them because they don’t like being interrupted by their neighbors.
So, one day the couple again showed up to OP’s property while they were on their pontoon with friends and she finally spoke up, saying that they were having fun and they could get together another time. Well, after that, the woman received an angry text saying she had embarrassed the couple and she just answered saying that they need to respect their boundaries as they feel like they are being stalked.
The OP was scolded by a few friends; however, the community members gave her the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge. “NTA. Boundaries aren’t reserved for mean-people only. Just because these neighbors are ‘nice’ doesn’t mean they can’t learn to keep a respectful distance,” one user wrote. “NTA – you deserve to have space respected. It says a lot that rejection upset them so much,” another added.
Let’s talk a little bit more about the main issue of this story – boundaries, and to be more specific, not respecting them. It’s clear that all of us have them, just that they are different with each person. Some people who are close to us are allowed to ‘cross’ a little bit more of our line, while others must keep a little bit more of a distance.
So, having any relationship without clear boundaries may be exhausting, especially between neighbors. Sharon Martin, LCSW listed a few points why we need boundaries. First of all, they allow you to be your true self, meaning you can make your own decisions, know and ask what you want without seeking to please others.
Also, it’s important to note that they are a form of self care – healthy emotional boundaries indicate that you value your own feelings and needs and are not responsible for how others feel or behave. They help to create realistic expectations so we know what’s expected. And finally – boundaries create safety.
Now, probably many of us have found ourselves in a similar situation where neighbors are not respecting our boundaries but we don’t know what to do with that without sounding rude and destroying the relationship. Irene S. Levine, PhD, who is a friendship doctor, noted in her blog that maintaining good relationships and setting boundaries with neighbors is always tricky.
She suggested that it’s important to be honest and direct, but also kind. Have a heart-to-heart conversation, telling them that you need time for yourself and your free time as well. She emphasized that it’s important to suggest solutions but to not make neighbors feel worse in order to maintain a positive relationship.
So, guys, what is your take on this story? Do you think the woman did the right thing or was she in fact being a jerk? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
